


you are loved (more than you know)

by bugbee



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe, Brother-Sister Relationships, But they love their kids, Dave raises Dirk, Family Feels, Gen, Hate that I have to clarify that, Kid Fic, Nervous Parents, Not Incest, Parent-Child Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-23
Updated: 2019-12-23
Packaged: 2021-02-26 06:08:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,117
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21908704
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bugbee/pseuds/bugbee
Summary: Through the timely intervention of friendly aliens, dead dictators, and cyborg Obama, Dave and Rose no longer have their eventual death at the hands of the Batterwitch and the subsequent destruction of planet Earth to fear.Instead, they have something much harder to face.Parenthood.
Relationships: Dirk's Bro | Alpha Dave Strider & Dirk Strider, Dirk's Bro | Alpha Dave Strider & Roxy's Mom | Alpha Rose Lalonde, Roxy's Mom | Alpha Rose Lalonde & Roxy Lalonde
Comments: 7
Kudos: 106





	you are loved (more than you know)

**Author's Note:**

> So this was inspired by [StrawberryCubes](https://twitter.com/StrawberryCubes)' [tweets](https://twitter.com/StrawberryCubes/status/1208411043548028928?s=20) and [@spaceslade](https://twitter.com/spaceslade)'s [tweet](https://twitter.com/spaceslade/status/1208882923056902144?s=20) about nervous!parent!Alpha Dave, and I just ran wild with it. Enjoy.  
> Characters may be a bit OOC because, a) they are stressed parents, and b) very different universe. Also I am absolutely awful at describing kids, so if I mess up with any baby stuff, it's because I have no clue what I'm doing.
> 
> Title is from Sleeping At Last's [Light](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e5SaNY9dXJ0)!

May these words be the first  
To find your ears.  
The world is brighter than the sun  
Now that you're here.

([Light](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e5SaNY9dXJ0), Sleeping At Last)

* * *

Somehow in the span of a day, Dave’s life has taken a pirouette off the fucking deep end and landed face first into insanity.

He had plans. Plans! He never planned, that was more of Rose’s jam, and granted, most of his plans were her plans, but nonetheless, they had some idea of the future. A shitty future, sure, but still something.

Now though? Now he has no fucking clue what’s going to happen next.

The baby looks up at him unamused, and Jesus Christ, can babies judge people at this age? Do they have the mental ability to affix a dude with a disappointed stare? One that screams: I’m not angry, just really done with your bullshit. He swallows, a bead of sweat dripping down his neck.

The baby continues to look, corners of his little baby mouth turned down in discontentment.

He can almost hear the dulcet tones of John Mulaney (God rest his soul) imitating his dog Petunia.

“Bring me my dish, cocksucker.”

In the distance, something golden flashes across the sky, followed by a pink blur. Normally, that would fill him with fear and aggression, certain that the Batterwitch had finally come, but...

Well, as he said before. Things went topsy-fucking-turvy.

One day things were normal. Well, as normal as things could be under a clown dictatorship, but the plan had still been in place. Then the other aliens turned up, killed the batterwitch, and fucked off again, without even a by your leave.

Rude.

To be fair, he had been more preoccupied with the meteor hurtling towards his face at least a century too early, while trying not to gape at the sight of a young woman with horns eerily similar to Crocker-bitch yell fish-related obscenities as she stomped her to the ground.

End result? Dead Fish Dictator, dead clown congress, and a cyborg Obama running things. Apparently he didn’t count as the original Obama since this specific version technically had never run for president before on this world. This world, used to the running bullshit that had been happening lately, silently accepted this and resolved to never discuss it again.

So that whole stuff doesn’t matter. Time to ignore it, and focus on the very pressing issue of baby judgement.

“Hey... uh, lil dude. How’s it hanging?” he asks awkwardly, before kicking himself. What was he expecting, a response? But hadn’t those parenting books he’d bought said talking to kids was good?

(Okay, so sue him, he had been pretty depressed that he wouldn’t be able to take care of the little tyke, and wanted to make sure everything was set up so his little dude could live the best life possible.)

For fucks sake, things would have been easier if everything had just stuck to the plan.

“You hungry, pal? I’m... pretty sure we can grab some shi- uh, stuff. Get them nice nutrients in ya, yum yum in your tum kinda stuff.”

He swears the baby lifts up an eyebrow, he fucking swears it, before turning his orange eyes away to stare at something else.

It feels like a dismissal, and Dave can’t help but feel offended.

“Yo, not cool my dude! I’m tryin’ my best over here! I expected like... at least another five years of preparation! And I wouldn’t even be alive to raise you! Not that I’m unhappy about surviving and er... being able to look after you. That’s a pretty sweet deal!”

Why the fuck is he trying to justify this to a baby.

And shit, he’s going to need a name, a crib, some toys, all that good, important shit that he had learned about. With luck, Rose is suffering as much as he is at the moment, and that thought is almost calming enough to stop the anxiety fuelled sweat he’s been going through the past few hours.

“Okay then,” he says with a false cheer, “time to grab some din-dins!”

It’s easy to cradle the kiddo close to his chest, the soft warmth and weight making him smile slightly into the baby’s hair. (How the fuck does he have hair?! He’s like. A day old or something!) He might seem like a little shit so far, but Dave can’t deny how overjoyed he is to be able to meet this little dude. Both he and Rose had been crushed when they fully realised that they wouldn’t be able to look after these kids, at least not directly. They had made plans together to give them the best possible chance at surviving they could, each coming up with ideas that could help them thrive in an empty future.

But now... none of that mattered. He has his little kiddo right here, the Batterwitch was gone (may she burn in hell), and for once, maybe things could be okay and normal.

“You know what, Dirk?” he mumbles into the baby’s head, who moves slightly at his sudden naming. “I’m gonna do my absolute best to make sure you’re okay. It’s you and me pal, we got this.”

He’s got this.

* * *

A few hours later, and he does not ‘got this’. It’s 3am and Dirk is happily banging a screwdriver into some metal, while Dave desperately tries to get Rose on the phone. Is it normal for babies to stay up this late? Should he try to get him to sleep? Well, he’d tried that, and it absolutely did not fucking work, since the little bastard had somehow managed to crawl out of his crib and start playing ‘fix-it’ with a vintage radio.

Dave of course, had promptly freaked the fuck out, and tried to take it away. Cue the crying, and shit, if that didn’t break his heart. Intellectually, he knows that he’ll have to set up boundaries and shit, unless he wants Dirk to grow up into a spoiled brat, but at the same time, he doesn’t want to potentially ruin a possible interest in electronics. As a parent (and **FUCK HE WAS A PARENT** ), shouldn’t he encourage his kid’s ( **SHIT HE HAS A KID** ) dreams?

Rose finally answers after he’s called her four times, growling out a pissed off: “ _What,_ Strider?!”

“Dirk managed to get out of his crib and now he’s playing, and I don’t know if I should stop it or not, cause what if I’m limiting his dreams? What if by taking it away I’m shutting down a lifetime of love and joy for fixing things?! What if-?!” The words spill out like a punctured apple juice box, before promptly being clogged up by an irate hiss.

“ _You think I have my shit together?!_ You’re not the only new parent, jackass! Roxy keeps on crawling over to my cats, and the amount of times I’ve had to hide the alcohol from her, I swear she’s finding it on purpose, because she breaks the bottles, Dave! Smashes them on the floor! Glass! Around baby! Not! Good!”

Dirk continues to smack the metal. Through the phone, he can hear a girlish giggle. And then a smash.

“Shit!” Rose squawks, and the line goes dead. Dave immediately swivels to face his own tyke. The screwdriver is now being gnawed on, and he quickly rushes over, trying to gently pry the potentially dangerous object away from Dirk’s face.

“Not the wisest idea, kiddo, maybe it’s better if you chew on something else!” he yelps out, hands tugging the screwdriver away. Dirk does not like this at all.

At. All.

Dirk begins to wail, and Dave can feel his resolve wavering, but- No. No, he’s has to take care of his kid, even if that means doing something that might upset him. Safety first. Maybe he can get a soft, plush screwdriver? Thoughts for later. For now though, he tries to comfort the crying baby in his arms, tiny face scrunched up and body squirming. Dave swallows and begins to rock him, trying to give little shooshes and encouraging words.

Granted, maybe “you’ve got this, little buddy,” and “I believe in your power of cool, lil bro, there ain’t no need to cry,” might not be the most comforting things to say. Dirk certainly seems to agree with this, as he continues to sob, though it’s steadily quieting down. After what must be an hour, Dirk finally drifts off to sleep, dried tears on his chubby cheeks, and Dave hangs his head, wishing he could run a hand through his braided hair. But alas, his hands are full with sleeping baby, and he does not wish to jostle or wake him up any time soon.

Fuck. Kids are hard. Dave has never been good with crying kids, but at this point, he knows he’s going to have to learn how. He’s going to have to go domestic and be kind and patient, but maybe... that isn’t the worst thing in the world. He’s been restless for a while, constantly bouncing between movies, trying to weave his subtle messages in ways that wouldn’t immediately get him executed. It was exhausting and terrifying, and more often than not he was running on fumes and coffee, trying to claw through just one more day.

But now he doesn’t have to do that. He has more than enough money to live comfortably for a lifetime, while still being able to provide anything Dirk, or even Roxy and Rose might need. Maybe once the fatigue of his movies goes away, he’ll continue. But right now he has to focus on the important things. He has to learn, has to be there, and it will take every part of him possible to do this. He’s always been shit at multi-tasking, and trying to do that now... won’t be good for anyone in the long-term. He has no clue how single, working parents do it, but he has mad respect for them all, and resolves to see if he can donate anything towards a group of them or something.

Dirk gives a soft snuffle, and Dave turns to look at him, melting at the small fist clenching his shirt.

Yeah. This is more than alright, he thinks.

“Me and you?” he whispers softly, pressing a gentle kiss to Dirk’s head, “We’ll be alright. I know we will.”

* * *

Time has always been fickle for Dave, and more often than not, he finds the years drifting by before his eyes. Dirk is suddenly one, pulling himself up and trying to toddle, only to fall down and whine when he doesn’t. He’s incredibly intelligent, far past anything Dave himself could ever be, and his pride and love for this little kid only grows each day. But while he seems advanced in just about everything a baby can be advanced in, he rarely babbles, instead choosing to tug on a sleeve when he wants attention.

Roxy in contrast is a little motor mouth, constantly burbling happy little sounds, and Rose brags to him that she’s very close to saying ‘mama’. He’s proud of her too, but begins to worry about Dirk’s own silence, and takes him to a doctor.

“He’s probably just a late bloomer,” they say, voice kind in the face of a new parent, “but if it persists, it might be beneficial to do some tests.”

That, of course, only serves to make the panic bubble up further, and it takes Rose flying down with Roxy in her arms to calm him down. She’s as stylish as ever, nails and lips perfectly painted black, a sleek pantsuit accentuating her gayness, but the sunglasses are a new addition. She lowers them dramatically when he spews out his worries, and calmly tells him to stop being a fucking idiot.

“If he’s a late bloomer, he’s a late bloomer. If there’s something else, then there’s something else. You aren’t going to stop loving him because of this, and while I’m sure I’d be panicking in a similar manner, it’s best not to make yourself sick with worry. I’m sure it’ll only make Dirk nervous as well,” she sighs out, as though it’s an incredibly obvious solution, and he nudges her with his shoulder. 

But already, the panic is slithering away, relief acting like a cool balm to the spinning thoughts that have been plaguing him the past few days.

Dirk, bless his little socks, seems to notice this, as he crawls over and tugs on his trousers to be picked up. It’s just as easy as it was the first time to pick him up and hold him close, cradling him to his chest and letting out a content sigh.

“Why do you always have to be fuc- um, right, why do you always have to be right?”

“Because I may not have my shit together, but it’s more shit than you have,” she replies, hand reaching out to gently stroke Dirk’s head. Roxy lets out an excited squeak, and shuffles over as well, holding up her arms to her mother. Rose quickly grabs her as well and blows a raspberry, and Dave snorts at the ensuing giggling.

“’uck!” Roxy squeals, mouth stretched into a happy grin. Rose leans forward in anticipation.

“Luck? Duck? What is it, my little darling?”

“’uck! ‘uck! Fuck!” The small girl chants, and Dave can feel the temperature turn frosty.

“I did not teach her that,” he immediately blurts out, her glare burning a hole into his face.

“Why do I doubt that? Why do I doubt that beyond any reasonable-?”

“Fuck.”

The small voice from his lap draws both of their attention to the stoic Dirk cuddling into his chest.

“Fuck!” Roxy repeats, a tiny hand reaching out for her... brother? Baby-in-arms?

Dave can feel him jaw drop open, barely even bothered that Dirk’s first word is not really meant for polite company.

“Can you say that again?” he asks in excitement, and Rose smacks his arm.

“No! Don’t say it again! Dave! We’re meant to be _role-models_!” 

She hisses it out as though it’s unbelievable that either of them, though mostly Dave, could ever be role-models. Still, he grins sheepishly, and decides that... she’s probably right.

“Ah, yeah, hey little buddy, maybe don’t say that? How about... Roxy? Or Auntie Rose? Or Da-ave-?”

“Really? You’re going to make him call you Dave?” The judgement on Rose’s face is absolutely not appreciated.

“What? Can you really say I’m dad material?” he shoots back, but quickly withers under Rose’s raised eyebrow.

Woah. Deja-vu.

“Well you’re doing a good enough job for Dirk, aren’t you? I’d say you’re a good father Dave, if compliments didn’t cause you to immediately shut down. Let me know when you reboot,” she snarks, and he stops himself from denying that no, he isn’t allergic to compliments, just genuine ones, but realises that he’d be proving her right again.

Best to shut up.

Rose smirks at him as though she knows exactly what he’s thinking, but turns her attention back to her own daughter, voice as even as ever as she baby-talks to Roxy.

It’s vaguely unsettling.

The rest of their visit is spent helping each other out and exchanging tips, and Dave feels the weight of parenthood lift slightly with the presence of his... sister? Parent-in-arms? Who knows. By the time they leave, he can feel the anxiety crawling up again, but as Rose wraps a bright red scarf around his neck, he feels it slowly fade again.

“Now you call if you need anything,” she declares, sunglasses gleaming in the Houston sun, and he salutes her sloppily.

“Aye-aye, captain. Right back at you.”

She sniffs haughtily, before giving an amused smile, and wrapping him up in a hug. He breathes in the scent of lavender, baby powder and books, and exhales.

“You look after yourself, sis,” he mumbles into her shoulder, and she stiffens for a moment, before relaxing again.

“Of course, always. I should be telling you that, brother mine,” she says back, but her hug tightens for another moment, before letting go.

“Well then. We have a flight to catch.”

“See you soon?” he asks, even though he knows the answer.

“Of course! If you think for a moment that you’ve seen the last of me, then you most certainly do not know me very well. Next time, you’re coming to Washington, do you understand?”

“Absolutely, ma’am,” he grins, and she smiles back, before leaning down to Dirk’s pram and sweeping him into a gentle embrace.

“You keep an eye on your dad, okay? We both know who the real responsible one is, and it certainly isn’t him,” she stage-whispers, smirking at Dirk’s delight. Dave gives a fake scowl, and turns to Roxy, who looks at him with sad eyes.

“Oh sweetheart, we’ll see each other soon. You and your mom are family after all, and I know Dirk’s gonna miss his buddy. So we’ll be back around soon. You’ll even get sick of us, promise,” he says gently, and she sniffles, before giving a small smile.

“That’s it! Now how ‘bout a fist bump for your coolest uncle?” He holds out his fist, and to his glee, she reciprocates.

“Yo Rosie! Did ya see that? Now that is a cool gal, right there!”

“I’m well aware of my own child’s ‘coolness’, Dave. Your own one is pretty incredible as well. Now then, we really must be off, we still have to get through security,” she says hurriedly, but there’s still a forlorn undertone in her voice.

“Yeah, of course. But don’t worry, we’ll be bothering you soon. Make sure to text me before the plane takes off, and let us know when you land, yeah?”

“Will do.” She hesitates for a moment, before hugging him again.

“Goodbye Dave, we’ll see you soon. Love you both,” she mutters, and he chuckles.

“Love ya both too. Have a safe flight,” he replies happily, and they let go.

She lifts her hand up in one last wave, Roxy cooing from her pink pram, and they turn to march through the gate. Dirk burbles happily, hand also lifted up in a wave, and Dave gathers him up close.

Well, he certainly never expected this life to happen to him.

“Alright, little buddy, how does some AJ sound?”

“Fuck!”

“That’s what I like to hear- oh shit, don’t say that-!”

But he wouldn’t trade this for anything in the world.

* * *

With every heartbeat I have left  
I will defend your every breath,  
And I'll do better.  
'Сause you are loved.  
You are loved more than you know.  
I hereby pledge all of my days  
To prove it so.

([Light](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e5SaNY9dXJ0), Sleeping At Last)


End file.
